Wednesday, December 12, 2012

When did we become High School U.S.A.?

I was thinking we’ve just reelected a president of the United States based primarily on likability and popularity and this weird thought came to mind. I’d like to share it with you now…

Oh my god! Like we just reelected the president because he was popular and stuff. Nobody wanted Romney to win because… just look at him he’s so boring! He reminds me of the boring ASB president we had back in High school when I was the Homecoming King.

And they’re saying that we should vote for Hillary in 2016 because of women’s rights and historical stuff like that. OMG! I could just scream!

This talk about the money drop thing…oh yeah the fiscal cliff is peeving me off cause the president won and stuff, so they should give him what he wants like new king powers or something. Yeah and they should raise the debt roof… or debt ceiling (whatever!) and the president should be able to spend as much as he wants. It’s not like we can’t print more money and stuff!

And oh my god, oh my god I haven’t had a job in four years so they better not let the Republicans cut off welfare or unemployment or kill babies (or whatever they do) or I’m going to go nuts.

President Obama is so cool! Did you see how he just flies around on air force one campaigning for the last two and a half years tellin everyone how mean and out of touch, those Republicans are.

And it really don’t matter who runs for office I’m never going to vote for a Republican because all they want to do is put a buzz kill everything. We should enjoy ourselves in America while we can. Nobody wants to save and cut spending. I know I don’t!

The President is cool he goes on the Late Night show with David Letterman and he hangs out with Jon Stewart on the Daily show and I think that’s cool. Cause that's where I get my news. There and 60 minutes and TMZ! You know Jay-zee and Beyonce threw him party just before election to get out the vote. It was cool!

The president can identify with me cause he used to smoke weed too and he likes to party. After the election, he’s going on a 20-day Hawaiian holiday costing 4 million dollars he ought to have a lotta fun body surfin and eating shaved ice. I’d have fun too if I was president and if I had the money. Right now, I can’t pay all my bills on unemployment.

If I were president I’d build, a skateboarding park right on the White house grounds and invite some buddies over for a day of skating and partying. Woo-who!

Yeah if I were president, I’d have so much fun I wouldn’t have time for that boring stuff like attacks on American whatyamacallits… oh yeah Consulates, American Consulates. I’d let the people who work for me take the the work.

If I were president, I’d make that Boner guy… oh yeah Boehner guy do whatever I tell him and he’d do it too! And if I’d wanted to, I’d skateboard right off of the fiscal cliff and blame the Republicans cause ain’t no body listening to them anyhow.

Republicans remind me of those stupid teachers I had in high school always trying to tell somebody what to do and what to learn when they didn’t know anything about me or my life. All that Math, English and History stuff was just a waste of time. Nobody uses that stuff in real life anyways. I know I don’t!

And I really don’t care who runs for president next time as long as they ain’t White, male and Republican cause they suck!

Oh, my god Republicans suck big time and Democrats rule!

It has occurred to me that the president won 50.3% of the popular vote. If what is written above is the way over 50% of our voting countrymen and women are processing now, it may not be out of the question that Snooki could one day be the next president of the United States of America…

I’m just sayin!