Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Wassup Democrats

(L-R) Former U.S. Senator Mike Gravel (D-AK), U.S. Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT), former U.S. Senator John Edwards (D-NC), U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY), U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL), New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, and U.S. Senator Joe Biden (D-DE). (Chris Keane/Reuters)
Cooler than an ice cold bottle of Budweiser in a snowman’s hand Democrat Presidential hopefuls debated for the YouTube, Moveon.org, netroots radicals.

It was an electronic digital sock puppet show, it was Kukla, Fran and Ollie; it was Sesame Street on anabolic steroids and it was so fitting that the very first question to these candidates, who would be President of the United States of America was WASSUP?

Panning from the candidates on the stage and mounted flat screen TV monitors from which YouTubers asked questions, questions which were scatter all over the political spectrum like shot from a shotgun and as eclectic as furniture at a garage sell.

The first Hip-hop, YouTube, pop-Presidential debate was underway.
Shawn Jackson from Ann Arbor, Mich. Questioning Democratic hopeful via YouTube (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)
To Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York a question was, Are you feminine enough? Referring of course to the question that former Sen. John Edwards wife has recently raised regarding the Senate’s apparent ducking of feminist issues. "I couldn't run as anything other than a woman," responded Sen. Clinton.

Her answer drew a challenge from former Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, who said he was the best advocate for women on the debate stage. "I have the strongest, boldest ideas," he said.

Yeah, I always suspected that John Edwards was more of a woman that Hillary! Thank you for confirming that Mr. Edwards!

Sen. Obama was asked whether he felt that he was down with the homies and whether he was representin’ or not (as a Blackman). The University of Kansas student wanted to know if Sen. Obama felt that he was authentically black enough. (What to be President?) Obama said, "You know, when I'm catching a cab in Manhattan -- in the past, I think I've given my credentials." What!?! Senator you should have had a much better answer for this instance.
Senator Hillary Clinton
What a huge missed opportunity to point out that you don’t speak Ebonics as well as Hillary and her salmon color jacket was a bit ghetto however you’re the only candidate running who will inevitably be called nigger if you win! Not even Hillary is black enough to boast of that.

A gay female couple appeared on the screen, asking if the candidates would allow them to be married. Sen. Dennis Kucinich said yes; Sen. Chris Dodd and John Edwards said no but that they support civil unions for gay couples.

"The honest answer is I don't [support gay marriage]," said Edwards. "But I think it's wrong for me as the president of the United States to use my faith to deny anyone their rights."

Finally went asked whether any of the Senators would work their job for minimum wage, which goes from $5.15 per hour to $5.85 on Tuesday, former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel responded: "Oh, yes, I would.”

Now come on who you kidding Mr. Gravel? Just last June in a 244-181 vote, Democrats and Republicans alike killed a bid by Reps. Jim Matheson, D-Utah, and Lee Terry, R-Neb., to get a direct vote to block the COLA, which is automatically awarded unless lawmakers vote to block it.

The Senate has not indicated when it will deal with a similar measure. In essence the house just voted itself a $4,400.00 raise that would increase their salary to $170,000 a year. Yet these supposed supporters of the proletariat haggled over $0.70 an hr raise in the minimum wage for you and me.

So let’s recap, Lesbians asking about gay marriage. Two unrelated parents with sons in Iraq asking about ending the war, a question about minimum wage and a snowman asking about global warming I’d say yep that’s the Democratic platform in a nutshell.

I guess that’s WASSUP with the YouTube Democrats… Jeez God they can’t be serious can they?

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